A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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