- Anti Joke

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

bees knees

If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

banana

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

every knight i see an owl at window

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

Anti Joke

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