Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops