roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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haha

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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