What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Oh...okay, good.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Bitch

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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Carrot fingers

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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