Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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