What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Poop

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops