Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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