My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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Has u seen my grammar?

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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