One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

its funny cuz i laughed!

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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