Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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