how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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why dont they make black forks

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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