What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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the holocaust

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops