Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Your Mom

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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