Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Justin Bieber

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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i just pooped that is all!

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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