A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Poop!!

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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