My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Okay, after this one then...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops