How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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Laugh

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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