What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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That's what SHE said!

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops