Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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Walnut

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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kesha is a virgin.

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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