How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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canadians

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Sex education in Texas,

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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