Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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this site is an antijoke

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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haha

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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