Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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