so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Womens' sports

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Tony Romo

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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This is not a joke or is it

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops