Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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