John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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