The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops