Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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