Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

This is Heading 1

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Knock knock What?

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

What do u call a banana? A banana......

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda