Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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4-4-2

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops