Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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A farmer was robbed and complained to the sheriff's department that he suspected it was a black man behind the crime. "How do you know this for sure?" The sheriff asked him. He replied, "I chased him into the night, it was dark and I couldn't see him"

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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