Wanker

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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