Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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tims sty:)

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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Adele walks into the stables

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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this site is an antijoke

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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