A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

What's funnier than 24? 25

My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Wanker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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