There's a god, just kidding.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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