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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

Hey! Where is my tracker?