A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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