Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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