Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Seven

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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