A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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