What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Seven

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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