Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops