There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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