if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Elizabeth Warren

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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