Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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