A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

its all aodhan

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

all jokes aside...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

thumb_up thumb_down +15

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops