Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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