why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...