How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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