Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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whats chinese noodles

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops