Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Caca.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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What time is it? 20:45.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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obama

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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